important men with biopics are always cheaters (ew)

2:12

Hello good reader!

Thank God for the girls who have gotten me out of the house this afternoon—a classic Valley ramble from Target to this coffee shop and later more errands to return things (bought the wrong size of case for my phone off Amazon). I’ve had a kombucha and one of those hummus/pretzel packs and am in a much better mood that I’d been in this morning. I was in bed doing the reading for Cielo’s book club about how disappointing it is to date in your thirties but also how marriage doesn’t seem that great either.

More kindling for the attitude I’ve sensed developing in me the last half-week. I’m still having fun on my first date spree, I think, but I’m looking forward to when it’s over and I can redirect my energy to something like figuring out my new health insurance and going to the dentist. I’ve seen a notable increase in my already pretty high self-esteem amidst these dates (“wow, I really am so beautiful, interesting, tempting, etc,”) but something about this in relation to men is making me feel a tad resentful toward them.

One took me to see Chalamet’s Bob Dylan movie—it annoyed me in the way I knew it would because important biopic men always cheat on their partners while wallowing in their own Great Loneliness. YUCK! EW! MISS ME WITH THAT! That’s just how I feel about it and I told the guy who brought me that my mom said a man would only want to clip my wings. Not great first date conversation, I’ll admit.

But it’s only a mood! It really has been a nice, interesting, fun time. It’s just coming time to pivot.

The cacao ceremony went well—the guy I arranged it with suggested we do an open mic night next. My agent asked me to send her videos of me doing yoga a while ago I ought to do, and I figured I’d post them on Instagram too. We went to the Getty the rainiest day last week and I bought an umbrella fashioned after Van Gogh’s Irises, which we saw there. And I was inspired by the strokes really talented painters make, how up close they look so obvious and blunt but far away they make something detailed and beautiful.

Hope to hear from you, reader. I hope you’re well. Love you lots.

Yours,

Z