reject procrastination, you are always right on time

3:02

Good morning, reader!

My eyes hardly opened for the day and I thought to write to you. Through my window, the neighbor’s yellow Christmas lights grow pale alongside the sky, alongside the dusky corners of my room. What do you think of in the moments you first log back in? Sometimes, evidently, I think about you.

The planner party went well. I wore an orange long-sleeved dress Maddie got for my birthday one year, so long ago now she said it’s basically vintage. I sold out my first round of planners and we polished off a platter of macaroons. I felt I ought to have given a speech but wasn’t really in the mood.

A large point of the party was to celebrate my completion of a project, but it’s hard to strike that vibe of pride and excitement when you’re finished with something you’ve been working on. I know you understand.

The moment I sent my last letter, I began writing this next, because I had said sort of cutely that I ✨procrastinated✨ on the set up of my planner party. I felt it was an odd choice and realized that I don’t really use that word anymore, though I definitely used to. It’s a word I inherited from my mother; I come from a family of procrastinators.

But I’ve benefited from a shift into no longer seeing myself that way. I do know what needs to be done, and sometimes (sometimes for several days in a row), I can feel that I really don’t want to do it, so I’m like, “okay! try again tomorrow.” I trust I’m going to get it done before it’s a problem.

Though I don’t know. I’ve thought about it since then especially in regards to how slothy I’ve felt after the party (and before then, thanksgiving parties/travel, and before then, birthday celebrations). My whole theory is that I work best when I allow myself to move in cycles. But what can I safely leave undone at the low-energy part of that cycle? You know, while being an adult.

Going to give a go at some important adult things today, reader. Do you see yourself as a procrastinator?

Hope you’re well. Kisses,

Z