checking in

a personal letter

Writing this at 4:30, in the early morning before it’s “due.” I planned to post the interview I gave my witchiest friend today, but I haven’t written it yet. I was going to do it yesterday, after my trip to New York, however due to delays (cried in a ticket agent’s face, camped in a lounge you’re meant to leave after three hours) I only just got home.

I’d say there’s a lesson on procrastination there, but who cares! I can do whatever I want.

I move into the cat-sitting house today. Then I’m filming for some YouTube video—one of those that get a million views like, “Guessing The [Blank] Of This Group Of People!” It’s the kind of gig where the main benefit is the possibility of a commenter asking for your handle. Then maybe you can siphon a few of those viewers.

It’s a little degrading, the idea of sliding in on those comments with a cheeky @zoebanoza. I did another video like this a couple of years ago, saw those comments and felt too embarrassed to respond. But another girl who did really blew up since then and I’ve always wondered if that was the turning point for her.

And that’s the dream we talk about in this industry: blowing up. Though saying you want that feels kind of embarrassing, too.

Anyway, I have a question for you.

Thanks for reading,

Z